Assets

I like the kind of man who says, "Nice rack!" in reference to my collection of books.

Which are tastier?

Paper jams or traffic jams?

Arrr

If an African-American were to go to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate, what would he say upon his arrival?

"Shizzle me tizzles!"

What do you call a pedantic Egyptian?

An anal sphynxter.

Plant-based?

Yep. No meat, eggs, dairy, gelatin or honey; although, I never was a very big honey eater, not that honey eaters ever are very big.

Bukkake Yoghurt

Low fat, high protein, low sugar!

Him: Maybe it's just my inner optimist, but I've always thought it'd be cool to have glasses. Me: You mean maybe it's just your inner optometrist! BAM.